All We Ever Needed
by watchxxthexsky
Summary: AU fic set 4 1/2 years after 4.08. Lucas was never able to tell Peyton he loved her, too. She's coming back home now, and he's ready to convince her he's in love with her, but she won't make it so easy on him this time around. LP. ON HIATUS!
1. California

I know I probably shouldn't be starting a new fic, when I have another one going that takes up enough time as it is, and still has many chapters to go. But honestly… I couldn't resist. I have about 6-7 Leyton fic ideas, and this one was calling to me, I guess.

Disclaimer: One Tree Hill and all of it's characters belong to Mark Schwahn, and Tollins/Robbins. I own nothing. Zero. Zip. Zilch. Nada.

Plus, the song title for my fic is by The Early November. And the song title for this chapter belongs to Copeland.

This takes place about 4 ½ years after 4.08. Lucas never did tell Peyton he loved her back. This is definitely AU, and a few things that happened in the real S4 have not happened for the sake of my story. Now, College has ended and everyone's coming home to Tree Hill. I will be using a lot of details and scenarios from S5, but also things will be a lot different – you'll see in time. )

* * *

_maybe i fell too fast_

_maybe i pushed you away_

_now you're gone and i'm afraid_

_that you're never coming back this way again_

Lucas Scott had made many mistakes in the past regarding Peyton Sawyer, and love in general. On a relatively quiet night back in their senior year of high school, Peyton had admitted to him that she was in love with him. Lucas was shocked to say the least. On some level, he knew this had been coming – he'd been waiting for it, if he wanted to be honest with himself. Lucas always knew that one day they would finally get their shot to be together, but after so many failed attempts, and a broken heart, he'd given up – and pushed those thoughts to the very bottom of his heart. After he had left her house, with a simple "Oh," thrown at her in response, he spent all night awake, alternating thoughts between Peyton and the State Championship.

Even after all Skills had said to him the next day about him and Peyton never being just friends, he was just too afraid to risk it. Peyton Sawyer was the first girl to ever break his heart, and in all reality, he had never healed when they had ended their brief, but passionate, relationship. He didn't know what he'd do if history were to repeat itself, and somehow they broke up. Lucas didn't think his heart could handle another disappointment where Peyton was concerned.

After the State Championship and the Lucas and Haley in the hospital fiasco, Luke and Peyton had avoided the topic altogether, and went back to being best friends. Though, there were many awkward moments, and sometimes things were too tense, and they'd fight for no reason at all. Lucas couldn't deny that sometimes she'd do or say certain things that would make him want to kiss her and hold her and never let go. He fought against every urge inside of him, and tried so desperately to just see her as one of his best friends again. He had never been able to fit her into that role again. Once the confession was out there, it couldn't be taken back – and his heart would never forget.

It was tough, just playing the role of her best friend, but he could never give in to what he really wanted, he was too stubborn and scared out of his mind. They had even attended Prom together. He remembered that night like it was yesterday, her body pressed against his, hips moving together slowly while swaying to the music. After that night, they had kept their distance until graduation, and the after party. Before she left for LA, they had shared one very special night together. Lucas tried desperately not to think of the one night they had together, but every night, before he fell asleep his mind was bombarded with images of Peyton Sawyer and the way she looked that night.

After graduation, Peyton had left for California, at first she had intended to just go there for an internship, but before she left, she decided to just stay there for college, seeing as she had gotten into a very good school out there. Lucas was crushed, but he knew that she was destined for greatness, and he couldn't be mad at her for chasing her dreams. Lucas had stayed in North Carolina to help his mom with Lily, be assistant coach to Whitey at the small town college, be the greatest uncle he could to Jamie, and finish up his first novel. All of the angst and longing that Lucas had gone through during those last few months of high school had provided more than enough material for a best selling novel.

Surprisingly, not all contact with Peyton had been cut off after high school. When Peyton had first moved out there, they had spoken at least 3 times a week on the phone. It was comforting to hear each other's voices over the distance that separated them. Though, once school started for both of them, and Peyton also had her internship, was Lucas was busy being an assistant coach, they slowly lost that contact until they were lucky if it was an e-mail received once a month. 2 ½ years after Peyton had moved out to L.A, Lucas's first book, _An Unkindness of Ravens_, had hit it big and he was lucky enough to be able to go on a book tour. Being a huge American city, obviously the book tour had brought him to L.A, where he and Peyton had actually met up for one night – one night that had changed things between them once again.

Since that night 2 years ago, Lucas and Peyton had had no contact whatsoever. He couldn't deny that he missed her terribly, and just wanted to see her again. When he had returned to Tree Hill, Lucas had vowed to himself that if they ever got another chance – which seemed impossible at this point – that he would do everything in his power to show her how much he truly loved her, and that they were really meant to be. Lucas just prayed that they would get another shot at love, though after all the chances they've had so far, it didn't seem likely another opportunity would come up. He knew how much Peyton loved LA and the music industry, and he loved his life here in Tree Hill.

Lucas resigned himself to the fact that maybe what they had was history – destined to remain in the past forever. After how they'd treated each other, it seemed like maybe they were just the heroes of bad timing; never fully able to get what they really wanted: each other. She had a life in California; he had his in Tree Hill. They were an entire country apart, and he was sure that he may never see her again. Only a little part of his heart held on to hope where they were concerned; but as each day passed, he lost that hope little by little.

However, just when you were down and out, life always has a way of throwing you curveballs. Little did Lucas Scott know, he would be having a run in with one Peyton Sawyer sooner than he ever expected.

_i'll see you soon  
if you'll come back here  
i'll see you soon  
just say that you want to see me too_

* * *

Okay, I know… slow start! The next one might be a little slow too, but I just want to show where Lucas and Peyton are at, and after the next chapter, I promise things will pick up quickly and take of running. This whole fic may be a little angsty, but as always, there will be a lot of Leyton loving. ) Let me know what you think! 


	2. Wait

Wow, you guys. I am so happy with the great response to my first chapter of this story, and it was just a simple set-up to the story. Thanks so much! This one brings us up to date with Peyton.

The title for this chapter belongs to Something Corporate.

* * *

_though i'm weak inside  
i'm thriving just the same  
still calling out your name  
wondering who it is that i should blame_

Peyton Sawyer had always been shy and guarded when it came to love; never wanting to let anybody get in too close, for fear of losing them. She had even spent over 16 years of her life never letting anyone see the real her, throwing up walls at any sign up someone getting too close to her heart. All of these things held true until her world was turned upside down by Lucas Scott. He broke down every reservation she had about love and made her see how great it could be to let someone into your heart. Yes, he had hurt her more than any other man; but he was still the one, the one man that would always have her heart. No matter how hard she tried, she could never let him go. And these past 4 ½ years in California, away from Tree Hill, she had tried her hardest to let go of this hold her had on her, but as hard as she tried, nothing seemed to work. She had dated many other men; had even fell in love once, but that relationship ended not long after seeing Lucas on his book tour 2 ½ years ago. Even after all these years, it always came back to Lucas Scott.

Back in their senior year of high school, after Peyton had confessed to Lucas that she was in love with him, he mumbled out an "Oh," saying something about how they'd always be friends, and darted out of there as quick as possible. Peyton had held out hope that maybe he'd see that they were meant to be together. However, Lucas seemed to avoid the topic altogether, and after his heart attack and stint in the hospital, she was too afraid to bring it up again. So, they went back to doing what they do best: hiding from their real feelings, and pretending to be just friends. They were never _just_ friends, and everybody knew that.

The last few months of high school were incredibly hard for her. They spent a lot of time hanging out, but usually Nathan or Haley or even Skills and Mouth had to be there, to keep the awkwardness to a minimum. The few times they hung out alone, a fight always occurred about something incredibly stupid, but they both knew the underlying reasons for fighting: the undeniable chemistry and sexual tension. Peyton was not naïve; she knew Lucas had feelings for her, she could tell by the way he spoke to her, held her in his arms when they were hugging, and sometimes he'd just stare into her eyes and an almost longing look would overcome his face. She just could not figure out why he wouldn't give in to this, and let himself have what he really wanted. Peyton, above all people, knew how hard this was to do. But Lucas himself had taught her how beautiful it could be when you let someone in and love them with all you have.

After Prom, they did everything they could to avoid each other. It was almost as if Prom had been a breaking point for them. They had gone to together and had an extremely romantic evening; dancing, dinner, flowers. It was all too much, and at the end of the night, that had almost ended up kissing, until once again, Lucas bolted when things got to be too much. It had seemed that Peyton and Lucas had switched personalities by this point. The night before she left for Los Angeles, Lucas had stayed over her house, and once again, their relationship had taken a surprising turn; one she'd definitely never forget. But also, it was too hard to remember the amazing times like those because it just made her long for him more.

The day Lucas's book was released, Peyton was at the local Barnes and Noble when it opened, picking up 2 copies – just in case. She had never been more proud of him than she was that day. Peyton was lucky, she had no classes and it was her day off from the internship, so she went home and read an _Unkindness of Ravens_ from cover to cover. It was amazing and the words had flowed so beautifully; she never expected anything less from Lucas. After she had finished, she cried for three straight hours. Though Lucas had talked about everyone else as well, he put so much passion and love into describing Peyton and talking about her. It was almost too much to handle. She placed the books on her book shelf, and didn't pick up a copy for another year; the day Luke had called to tell her he was coming out to LA for his book signing. Peyton knew she should say no to him, not go and meet him. But, Peyton's heart was aching to see him, and before she knew it, the day of the signing and fell upon them, and she found herself in the arms of Lucas Scott once more.

Even though it was only one night they had together, it had managed to turn Peyton's world upside down once again. After he left to finish up his book tour, Peyton lived her life in a cloud for a few months. She was back under his spell, and all of her free time was spent thinking about him and what they could've been. As much as she thought she ached for him before, once he left, her heart was so broken and called for him every night. But her stubborn pride stood in the way, much like his had back in high school. Peyton had turned into a shell of a person, ruining her long-term relationship with an amazing guy.

Shortly after her relationship had ended, Peyton had turned her world around. She worked nonstop at the record label to try and move up in the ranks, and even took on more credit hours at school, trying to do anything to keep her mind of off Lucas. And it had worked – for a really long time, it worked. Then she graduated, and everything turned to hell. She had basically held the same spot at Sire Records the whole 4 ½ years she'd been out there; just a lousy intern that the big wig guys took advantage of. The media and record industry was cut throat – and not at all about the music and passion, as she was hoping it would be. So, after much thought and debate – and one teary phone call with Brooke in New York – she knew it was time to go back home to Tree Hill. The next day after talking with Brooke, Peyton promptly quit the record label and booked the next flight to North Carolina.

Currently, Peyton Sawyer was sitting in her seat on the airplane, waiting impatiently for it to land. She was very excited to be going home, but also extremely nervous. One part of her couldn't wait to see Lucas and jump into his arms and be as close to him as possible, but the other part of her – the bigger part – was still too stubborn to give in. She made a vow, right there on that plane, that no matter what Lucas tried to do, or what he wanted with her, she would not give in. After all the hurt and heartbreak he had put her through, she was not going to just crawl back into his arms. When they had spent that night together in LA, she knew he was finally realizing what a mistake he had made in not being with her; he was finally coming around. If Lucas Scott wanted her back this time, he'd have to _really_ prove it to her, and work his ass off to win her back.

Peyton Sawyer was finally going home. But she was certainly not going home to make things easy on Lucas Scott.

_wait, till i hit the ground harder  
wish i could wait, to hear to hear your heartbeat fast  
i wish i could wait to see you shaking  
my days are numbered here  
and i don't want to be the last one home_

* * *

Let me know what you think! And, I did post a new chapter for By Your Side, so check it out! 


	3. Walk On

Thank you all so much for the encouraging reviews! To be honest, I wasn't sure how I was going to start this off after the intro chapters. I have a few places I want to take this fic, but starting it off has proved a challenge, so I hope you all enjoy this!

Chapter Title belongs to U2.

* * *

_home… i can't say where it is but i know i'm going home  
that's where the hurt is_

Peyton was pacing a hole in the floor in the North Carolina airport. What was she doing here? It had all seemed like such a great idea in Los Angeles – 2500 miles away. She should've stayed there, gotten a different job, taken up with a different record label. She had a great degree from an amazing school. Now that she was back home, she was seriously starting to regret it. No one but Brooke knew Peyton was coming, and Brooke lived in New York. She wasn't sure anyone would be thrilled if they knew she was coming back anyway. She had no place to stay – her father officially moved out of Tree Hill after she decided that she was staying in California, and he had sold the house. All in all, Peyton hadn't really thought this through. She was sad at her intern job and she missed _him_ and that was the only driving force that had brought her here.

Peyton's thoughts were cut off by her ringing phone.

"Hello?"

"Peyton, where are you?"

Peyton smiled. "I actually just landed not too long ago, Brooke."

"Oh good! So you're on your way to… wait, where again? Don't you not have a home there?"

Peyton loud out a bitter laugh. "My thoughts exactly! Why am I here? I have no home; no one knows that I'm back! I'm just standing in the airport wondering what to do next."

"Well thank God you have me here to back you up," Brooke's voice rang out from behind her.

Peyton snapped her phone shut and ran into her best friend's arms. Though she hadn't seen Brooke in nearly 3 years, she'd always be her best friend.

Brooke's eyes filled with tears. "I missed you P. Sawyer."

Peyton felt herself becoming emotional as well. "I missed you too B. Davis," came out as a strangled whisper.

After minutes of hugging, Peyton pulled back. "Brooke Davis, what on earth are you doing in Tree Hill?"

"I couldn't let you face this alone; it's bound to be overwhelming. And I'm… less than happy in New York. It was just time to come home. I was thinking we could lean on each other."

The pair of best friends began walking toward the exit with their luggage, one arm wrapped around each other.

"Okay, now… where are we going?" Brooke questioned.

Peyton threw her head back and laughed. "That is the question. Neither of us have a place to stay in Tree Hill anymore."

"Great, Tree Hill Motel it is," Brooke groaned. "That is not happening. Brooke Davis cannot be seen staying there."

"Great to see you've stayed so grounded throughout this whole thing," Peyton teased.

-----

Lucas walked through the front door of his brother and best friend's house, not bothering to knock. It was Thursday evening, and they usually all got together for dinner every week on this night. He strolled into the kitchen where he was greeted with the sight of his best friend leaning over the stove, cooking something that smelled absolutely divine.

"Hey Hales, something smells delicious!" He exclaimed.

Haley jumped in surprise but walked around the island to greet him with a hug. "Hey Luke, thanks… I hope it turns out to taste just as delicious."

"I'm sure it will. Now where's my nephew?"

"Here I am Uncle Luke!" Little Jamie came bounding into the kitchen heading straight for his uncle and jumping into his open arms.

"Hey, there's my little man! What's new?"

"I'm drawing you a picture!"

Lucas smiled in awe of Jamie. "Really, you're drawing me a picture? Can I see it?"

"No, Uncle Lucas, it's not done!"

Lucas chuckled and set his nephew down. "Then why tell me about it?" He questioned as the little boy ran to get his dad.

A call of "Daddy, Uncle Lucas is here," was heard resounding through the house.

Nathan walked in holding his son's hand. He bumped fists with his brother. "Hey big brother, I'm glad you're here, I'm starving!"

After a very successful two years playing college basketball, Nathan had fallen into the same fate his father had: one fluke accident in a championship game, and he busted his knee. The doctor's told him it would never be the same again, and they had been right. Nathan denied the truth for a long time, and kept trying to play, but he could never get back what he once had. Nathan Scott's only dream had been to play in the NBA. It took him a long time to figure out what he wanted. Him and Haley had gone through a rough patch and had nearly separated before he got his act together and started being the husband and father he was always meant to be.

After college, the Scott family took up residence in Tree Hill, settling into a comfortable and seemingly perfect lifestyle. Haley was teaching English at Tree Hill High, and loving every minute of it. Nathan had decided that even if he couldn't play basketball, he wanted to be involved in the game some way. So, after college, he took up a position as head coach at a local college, and to his surprise, he loved every minute of it. When he wasn't doing that, he was helping Luke out at Tree Hill High, where his big brother was the head coach of the Ravens. Nathan and Haley didn't lead an extravagant life, but they had all they needed and a little bit more.

The boys all sat down at the kitchen table, ready to eat. Haley served everyone chicken parmesan and pasta, with salad and bread.

"This looks great babe," Nathan complimented.

"Thank you." Haley turned toward Luke. "So, how's the second novel coming along?"

Lucas huffed in annoyance. "Is that a trick question Hales? You know how it's going."

Haley smirked. "Well, I just like to keep asking. I'm hoping one of these days, some inspiration will come along and you'll come out with another bestseller. I know you have the talent to."

Lucas softened and placed a hand on Haley's shoulder. "Thanks Haley. I don't know about talent – I think I may have lost it after high school. But… inspiration is the real problem. The problem being that I have absolutely none."

Nathan and Haley looked at each other from across the table, both knowing where that source of inspiration used to come from.

"Lindsay's been on my case, and if I don't come up with something soon, both of us are going to be in hot water."

"So how's it going with Lindsay?" Nathan asked, trying to get off the subject of writing, because he knew how sensitive Lucas was about it.

Lucas shrugged and twirled some pasta around his fork. "It's going… good. I mean, she's really great and fun…"

"But…?" Haley prodded.

"I just don't see it going much further than that. I think she's ready for me to really commit, and I don't think I ever will be."

Haley nodded sadly. "Well, Lucas, you guys have been dating – or whatever you want to call it – for close to two years. I'm surprised she hasn't wanted something more, sooner."

Lucas chuckled while chewing his food. "Oh she has. I've just really been avoiding it."

Nathan sighed and threw in his opinion. "Luke… it's been almost two years since you've seen _her_. Are you ever going to let that go?"

"Nathan!" Haley nearly shouted.

Lucas set down his fork and stared at his plate. "If I could figure out how – don't you think I would've by now?" He sounded pained, and his voice was a near whisper.

"It's just… she's not coming back, Luke. And unless you're going out there, and you can somehow erase all the crap you've put her through, then it's just… not going to happen. And you need to come to terms with that," Nathan didn't want to upset Luke, but he needed his brother to see. He only wanted him to be happy.

Lucas turned to Haley. "You think so too?"

Haley folded her hands in her lap nervously. "I know how much you love her, Luke, even after all of this time. But, you guys had so many chances, and you never took them. Maybe… maybe it's time to let go and move on."

Lucas scooted his chair back from the table and stood up. "Well, thanks for dinner – and the eye-opening information that I've _never_ thought about in all this time." He rolled his eyes and threw his napkin down. "Excuse me, but I've lost my appetite. I'll talk to you all later." He kissed Jamie on the top of his head and walked through the hallway and out the door.

Jamie looked between his parents. "You guys made Uncle Luke mad."

-----

Peyton and Brooke had settled into a nice hotel in Tree Hill, and as soon as they had unpacked, Brooke had passed out on top of the bed. Peyton was no where near being tired and decided to take a walk around town.

It seemed like the air here in Tree Hill was so much fresher than in stuffy L.A. She had missed the stars and the big black sky at night. Everything was so much more beautiful and serene here. All of her worries vanished as she walked through the quiet neighborhoods of the town she grew up in. As she got to Main Street, the smile on her face widened. Everything looked exactly the same.

Peyton kept walking until she reached Karen's Café. Her smiled fell instantly and she felt confused. This place was no longer the café, in fact it wasn't anything except an abandoned building. Peyton was instantly worried – what had happened? She knew Karen was okay, someone would've called if anything bad had happened. But why was this place Karen had loved so much closed? _I guess not everything's the same_, Peyton thought sadly.

The curly blonde kept walking and thinking until she unconsciously ended up at the Rivercourt. Peyton smiled fondly and looked down to see the names everyone had left on that last night in Tree Hill. This court held so many memories – mostly of her and Lucas. A cold breeze blew through and Peyton wrapped her arms around herself.

Footsteps could be heard coming from behind her. Scared and curious, Peyton whipped around and came face to face with none other than Lucas Scott.

After the dinner at Nathan and Haley's, Lucas went home to grab his basketball and headed to the Rivercourt. Everything his friends had said to him was true. Peyton was never coming back to him, and even if she did, she probably wouldn't want him again after all that had happened in their rocky past. It was heartbreaking to him, and he knew that moving on would be best for him. Lindsay was really great, and he thought that if there had been no Peyton Sawyer, he could've fallen in love with her. But, Peyton Sawyer did exist, and he couldn't see ever getting over her.

As he was approaching the Rivercourt he saw a figure in the distance. When he came closer, he couldn't believe his eyes. He'd recognize those wild curls and long legs anywhere. It looked like the woman of the hour had finally come home.

The pair stared at each other for what seemed like hours, but was mere seconds.

Surprising even herself, Peyton spoke first. "Lucas… I missed you." She moved forward to hug him. She was silently berating herself for making the first move and being so emotional, but just being in his presence again was slowly tearing down her anger.

He dropped the basketball he had been holding and immediately took her into his arms. He buried his nose into her hair and wrapped his arms as tightly as possible around her. "God, I've missed you too, Peyt."

There was so much each wanted to say – he wanted to know why she was home and what this meant. She wanted to make sure he knew that just because she was happy to see him didn't mean that it had anything to do with him, or that they would suddenly be reunited. Even though she knew it was all about him, she was certainly not going to clue him into that. But all of those thoughts were pushed aside for the moment.

Right now – the only thing that mattered was that Lucas Scott and Peyton Sawyer were in each other's arms. Now that she was home… anything could happen.

_and i know it aches  
__how your heart it breaks  
__you can only take so much_

* * *

Okay, I'm sorry it took so long! But here it is – I'm hoping you all liked it. Let me know! Even if you thought it was a let down. But now that I have something concrete to go off of, I think the chapters should be coming out a lot quicker. Thanks for reading! 


	4. Flying High

Sorry it's taken so long, but I come bearing a new chapter! Enjoy!

* * *

_i know, oh yes  
i know that we can't  
be together  
but, i just like to dream  
it's so strange  
the way our paths have crossed  
how we were brought together  
hmmm, it's written in the stars it seems_

Lucas and Peyton had stood wrapped in each other's embrace for nearly 3 full minutes before the curly blonde came to her senses.

As she stepped back, Lucas took the time to admire her. She looked so different, but the same all at once. Her golden locks were now a darker blondish-brown color; her style of clothing was definitely more grown up and _definitely _sexier. If it was at all possible, those tantalizing limbs of hers seemed even longer. She was just a grown up woman, a better version of the girl he'd fallen for in high school. She seemed to be more beautiful than ever standing right here in front of him.

Peyton knew he was checking her out, but it didn't make her uncomfortable, it made her somewhat proud she still had an effect on him. _Bad thoughts Peyton_, her inner voice screamed at her. While he was looking at her, she took the time to observe him. His hair was cut short and was a dark blonde. He seemed toned and like he'd gained more muscle. There was a 3 or 4 day old scruff on his cheeks and jaw, and she thought he'd never looked sexier. This Lucas Scott was no longer a boy; he was all man. Peyton knew this was going to make things that much harder.

"What are you doing here?"

Peyton shifted from foot to foot. "Well, I got bored in the hotel room, went on a walk, and here I am."

Lucas locked his jaw and almost laughed. "Very funny. What are you doing here in Tree Hill?

Peyton turned away from him and started pacing, slowly. "I realized after all of my time in L.A, I was getting nowhere. I had that same stupid job with no respect for almost 5 years; I had no family or friends out there… the city life just wasn't for me anymore. I figured I'd stayed away so long, that I was due to come home."

"Is this… are you… home for good?" Lucas questioned, hope evident in his voice.

"Yes. At least, I think so. I just need to figure out where I'm going to live and what I'm going to do. I'm currently homeless and unemployed."

Lucas smiled inwardly, but tried to keep himself in check on the outside. "I'm really happy that you're home. Tree Hill hasn't felt the same since you left."

Peyton blushed, but at the same time, she felt herself getting annoyed.

"You know, if you need a place to stay…"

Peyton jumped in quickly. "No! I mean, I don't think me staying in your home would work out well. Plus, 4 people in that little house would be very comfortable."

Lucas crinkled his brow and tilted his head to the side. "That's right, you probably don't know. Um, Mom and Lily are actually traveling the world right now. They started in New Zealand, so you can guess why she left. They've been gone a few months now, and aren't really sure when they're coming back. My mom even closed down the café."

Peyton snapped her fingers and shook her head. "Oh wow, that is so amazing. I walked by the café earlier, and I was a bit concerned that it was abandoned and boarded up. I'm glad that everything's okay though. They must be having a blast."

"They are, I get postcards every time they go to a new country or city."

There was an awkward silence where neither knew what to say. Finally Lucas got frustrated.

"Peyt, this isn't us. We don't have these awkward silences or exchange pleasantries. Even after a long time apart."

Peyton visibly flinched at the endearing nickname. "That _was_ us Lucas. As in past tense. We're not those people anymore. You should know that better than anybody."

"What the hell does that mean?"

"It means what it means, Lucas. You know we've both changed and have grown apart. After all the crap you put me through, you can't expect me to react to you the way I used to."

Lucas couldn't believe his ears. "Correct me if I'm wrong, but you were there every time something happened between us, and you made choices, too. Don't put it all on me, Peyton."

"You're right, I did help make a lot of decisions concerning you and me. But in the end, you're the one that could never let go and just be happy. You never wanted to let me all the way in. So guess what? It is your fault, Lucas. I wanted to be with… no, you know what? I did _not _come home to discuss us or have a reconciliation."

"Then why did you come home?" Lucas shouted.

"I already told you! And I don't know what you're hoping or thinking, but I most certainly did _not_ come home for you Lucas Scott!" She screamed at him.

Lucas tried not to let her hurtful words affect him, but they were all he could think about. He took a step toward her, his eyes softening. "Peyt, I'm sorry… I didn't mean to make you angry or upset. I've had feelings for you forever, and the past couple of years they've been even more intense and consuming, and now seeing you – it's all I can think about. You're all I can think about. And with you being home…" He knew he was being forward; that he'd just seen her again for the first time in 2 years, but he couldn't hold back any longer.

Peyton shook her head, frustrated. "No, Lucas! Every time you come around me your feelings come back! I can't keep letting you do this to me. It breaks my heart every time. This thing between us… whatever it was or is, it has to be over. You're never going to be ready to fully commit to me, and I have to be strong about this. We can go back to being friends, but anything more than that is off limits. You had your chances, Lucas and you never took them. You have to live with that."

Peyton felt tears flooding her eyes and quickly started walking away, but before she did, she heard Lucas softly say:

"I live with it every single day, Peyt."

-----

Brooke Davis was a woman who loved her sleep. Being a high profile fashion designer didn't allow much time for it, but when she could – she cherished every moment of rest and usually fell into a deep sleep. That being said, when she was woken abruptly, she was a force to be reckoned with.

"Peyton what the hell? Slamming of the doors? Throwing your things around? I'm trying to sleep here!"

"Who the fuck does he think he is? Does he think that after all of these years he still controls my heart and every thought? Does he think that he can just waltz back into my life and suddenly we'll be together – okay, technically I was doing the waltzing, but you get what I mean. That stupid, stupid boy. He never knows when to stop and he always thinks he knows what he's talking about. Clearly this time he doesn't. And I'm going to show him, oh yes I am, that this time around is different and I am not going to fall for his charm and another thing…"

"PEYTON! It is way too damn early, my head hurts, and I'm barely treading the line of consciousness. You hardly ever ramble, so what the hell is going on? I honestly have no idea what you mean, and I think we should start with who 'he' is?"

Peyton bounced on the balls of her feet and pouted like a little girl. "Lucas. I ran into him when I went out on my walk, we both ended up at the Rivercourt at the same time."

Brooke nodded and then looked up sheepishly. "You went to the Rivercourt, Peyton? Come on – that's his spot, hell that's your guys' spot. Of course he'd be there."

Peyton rolled her eyes. "Great, take his side Brooke! I didn't know you two were best friends."

Brooke sat up fully and threw her hands up in the air. "I am not on his side. First of all, hoes over bros – you're my best friend. Second of all, I don't even know why there are sides because you won't tell me why you two were fighting!" Brooke screamed out, emphasizing every word as she went on.

"He said he was happy to have me home, in that utterly _Lucas_ way that he does. Then he told me he's been having all of these intense feelings for me and me being here is confusing to him, and at one point he offered me a place to stay – in his home!"

"And here I was thinking being in love was a good thing." Brooke mumbled under her breath.

"He doesn't love me, he just wonders what could have been – and those are two _very_ different things. He's messed with my emotions and my mind for the past… you know what, ever since I've known him! Especially these past 4 ½ years. Sleeping with me, making me promises, and never ever taking that final leap!"

Brooke's heart clenched when she noticed Peyton was shaking and leaking tears, but still let her rant. She needed this. "I tell him I'm in love with him, and he acts like I didn't mean it. He sleeps with me, and forgets all about me. Two years later, he sleeps with me again, tells me he loves me and makes all of these promises he can't live up to, and goes on about the life we could have together, and the next morning he's gone. It's what he does Brooke. I don't know how he got like this, but I can't do it anymore. He always wants what he can't have. And I'm done falling for Lucas Scott. This isn't the Luke that I fell in love with, and I don't think he will be ever again."

By the end of her long outburst, she had fallen to her knees, and somewhere in the middle she had started hyperventilating nearly, making the words hard to understand, but Brooke got it all. Some of this she didn't know, most she did, and others she suspected.

Brooke rushed over to her best friend when her knees hit the ground, and sat there around her best friend, hugging and rocking her, trying to instill a sense of calm back into her. Brooke knew that these two were meant to be together. She knew if that boy could just get his act together and wake up – that they'd have a beautiful life together, and their love could finally come to fruition. At this point, she truly hoped Lucas was being sincere; she had an inkling feeling that he actually was. Peyton Sawyer was always his soft spot.

"I know you this isn't going to make you happy, but I feel I need to play the devil's advocate here." Brooke paused, pursing her lips, and looking to Peyton for a reaction. When all she received was a glare, she continued. "You and Lucas have never been able to get on the same page and have what you both really want: each other. And I don't think that Lucas was purposely toying with your heart, Peyton… he wouldn't do that. He's always loved you, even when he's been too stupid to realize it. P. Sawyer, you know I love ya, but you have a lot of… commitment issues as well and you've pushed him away in the past, maybe he was scared, too."

Peyton tried to interrupt, but Brooke held up her hand signaling that she wasn't through talking.

"You know I'm right. You've both hurt each other, it's been a two-way street, girl. I get that he's hurt you, and I do think he needs to prove himself this time around. I really do think he needs to prove he deserves you. I'm just scared that you're going to close yourself off to him, and just because you're hurt and angry you're going to lose your chance at true love."

Peyton nodded, letting the words sink in, knowing how true they were. "Brooke I know you're right… but how can I trust that I won't get hurt again?"

"You can't… there's no way to know if you won't get hurt again. But with Lucas… I think that's where you'll find your happiness. Truly. And if you don't open yourself up with him, you've got to with someone, somewhere, sometime. Don't keep yourself closed up; you've got a beautiful heart in there."

Trying to keep the mood light, Peyton leaned into Brooke and joked, "It sounds like you're hitting on me, B. Davis."

"What can I say; you're a hottie, P." Brooke bounced up, winked at her, and went into the bathroom.

Peyton sat on plush black carpet of the hotel room, mulling over her thoughts. It amazed her that after all these years, Brooke could still read her every thought. And that her every thought… had something to do with Lucas. Now, she just needed to decide what to do about all of this.

When Brooke walked out of the bathroom, Peyton was standing in the middle of the room, arms crossed in front of her. "You're right, I'm going to open up. But no way in hell am I going to make this easy on him."

Brooke clapped her hands together and smiled brightly. "There's the spirit. Make him fight like hell."

_and i'm flying so high  
high off the ground  
when you're around  
and i can feel your high  
touching me inside  
and it's too much to hide_

* * *

Okay, this isn't how I wanted it to turn out at all, it's not what I envisioned, but here's what I came up with. I hope you all like it. Let me know!

So, tomorrow night I need to take my computer in to get fixed, basically they'll be wiping out my hard drive, because somehow I got a really bad virus. I wanted to get this out before then. Hopefully I can get a chapter of The Secret's In The Telling out as well, because it'll be awhile before I can update again. It's been an awful week, and I hope it doesn't reflect in the chapter!


	5. The Good Kind

I can't believe I've made you all wait so long – I apologize profusely, and I will try my hardest to get them out quicker. I hope this was worth the wait! But, there isn't much LP – it's just setting up for the rest of the fic, and getting everyone back together.

I must say – your reviews are so lovely and encouraging. Every single person who reviews, thank you so much, it's very much appreciated.

* * *

_You forced me to become strong  
When I just craved being weak  
Yeah, yeah  
And you think you know  
And I would like to think so  
But do you know that when you go  
I fall apart_

Lucas's feet pounded on the pavement with each graceful move he made. For a while after high school, Lucas had given up running; college and family and his novel leaving little time for anything else. Once everything had unraveled between Peyton and himself, he'd taken back to running. It was a euphoric release, where for one hour, he could clear his mind, and nothing else mattered but him and the road.

As Lucas rounded the corner, he hoped Lindsay wasn't at his house this morning. He knew she was due back to Tree Hill some time today; he just wasn't prepared yet to deal with her; not after seeing Peyton last night. When he slowed down to a jog then a walk, he noticed that his back door was slightly opened and groaned to himself. Lindsay must be here.

When he walked in the door he was greeted with the sight of Brooke Penelope Davis in all her glory, sitting back on his bed, legs crossed in front of her, a smirk placed on her face.

"Well, well, if it isn't Brooke Davis: fashion designer extraordinaire? Come here!"

Brooke jumped up at his request and hugged him tightly.

Lucas removed himself from the hug and held her at arms length. Brooke Davis had definitely grown up. "So what is a famous designer like you doing in little 'ol Tree Hill?"

Brooke rolled her eyes and pouted. "Hey, it's my home too, ya know?"

"I did know – I just thought you'd forgotten," he joked.

"I could never forget Tree Hill. And hey – what about you? The famous novelist to the best-selling _An Unkindness of Ravens_."

Lucas laughed and tipped his head back. "I'd be even more successful and famous if I could come up with a second novel."

"No inspiration?"

"Not so much."

Brooke pursed her lips and mulled over this. "So…" she drawled, "have you seen Peyton yet?"

Lucas didn't miss the fact that after mentioning inspiration, she brought up Peyton. He let it slide, and nodded his head. "I should've known you two came back home together."

"It was time," she remarked simply.

"Yeah, it was. I've missed you both, and I'm glad you're home… this is to stay, right?"

"Well, Peyton's staying, but I haven't decided yet. Right now, I'm just here for my best friend."

Brooke noted the nostalgic look on his face upon mentioning his blonde love, and then when his head shot up at the end of her sentence.

"Here for her? Is something wrong with Peyton?"

Brooke inwardly laughed. _This is going to be so easy._

The petite brunette shook her head and walked over to his desk. "Nope, she just wasn't ready to face the hometown alone. Not that I blame her. It's a tough place to come back to." She paused then lifted a photo frame holding a pretty blonde woman wrapped around Lucas. "Who's the hottie?"

Lucas peered over her shoulder at the picture and rolled his eyes. It was a picture of him and Lindsay that Lindsay had left there purposely, feeling insecure about being so far away from him and his inability to fully verbalize a commitment. She was coming in today, so he made sure to have the photo visible and in plain sight.

"That's Lindsay, my… editor."

Brooke kinked an eyebrow. "Editor, eh? Looks awfully cozy for someone who looks over your books."

"Well, we're kind of dating, too." At his 'kind of,' Brooke started to open her mouth and question him, but he saw it coming and beat her to the punch. "It's a long story. Anyways… why did Peyton want to come home?"

Brooke sighed and put the photo back on the desk, this time picture-side down. "Cut the crap, Scott. She told me you two ran into each other last night, and I got the long, unedited version, trust me. You know why she came home."

"Yeah… she said the city life just wasn't for her, and she just felt it was time to come home. I'm just happy she's here."

Brooke was about to tell him she really did come here for him, but then she remembered her discussion with Peyton last night. Before she could stop herself, a plan had formulated and words were spilling out of her mouth. "Well Broody, I wouldn't get too happy if I were you. I don't know what your feelings are toward her now – I mean you're always so wishy washy. But um… Peyton's seeing someone."

Those words were like a blow to his heart. He tried to recover from the information he had just received, and mask his crestfallen face, but Brooke caught it.

Brooke almost felt bad, and softened her tone. "Sorry, Luke. But hey! You're dating this Lindsay right? How long now?"

Lucas cleared his throat and looked at the frame on his desk once more. "Oh yeah, 2 years, a little over that."

Brooke scoffed, and inwardly grew angry. Two years ago, Lucas had gone to see Peyton in L.A. "Okay, well, I promised Peyton I'd be back by now. But it was great seeing you, Broody."

She hugged him again, but his mind was still on Peyton. "Yeah, you too, Brooke. Don't be a stranger."

-----

"You told him what?!" Peyton screamed at her best friend.

As soon as Brooke walked in the door, the lies she had told to Lucas came tumbling out of her mouth and she had confessed the whole conversation to Peyton.

"I'm sorry! I can't help it – I may have grown up, but I'm still Brooke Davis! Meddling is in my blood. Especially when I see two people who are so obviously meant to be together."

"You know, hearing that from you still freaks me out a bit," Peyton admitted.

Brooke slapped Peyton's shoulder lightly. "I really am sorry. But he told me… he's kind of dating his editor. So, the lie just kind of slipped out."

"Yeah, well you're lucky my fist isn't "slipping" onto your face," grumbled the cranky blonde.

Brooke rolled her eyes. "Oh shut up. If it helps… he was totally jealous, I could tell."

Peyton perked up a little at that. "Oh yeah?"

"Hell yes, he could barely speak. He was very upset by your boyfriend status."

Peyton shook her head. "Only you, Brooke Davis. Okay, let's go – it's time to go see the Scott family.

Brooke clapped excitedly and led the way.

-----

Haley crossed one leg over another and settled back on her lounge chair, lying in the sun. It was rare that she had time to herself, but when she did, she relished it.

Currently, Nathan was in the pool with Jamie, watching after his little boy while his wife took some time to herself; after all, she deserved it. She worked hard and took care of their son every day, too. After their near-separation he promised himself that he'd never become a slacker father again, and that he'd always be the best husband and father he could. Most days, he felt he did a great job living up to that.

"Scott family – it looks as if you've done well for yourself. We're gone 4 years, and we come back to this beautiful house?"

At the sound of his former girlfriend's voice, Nathan whipped his head around. Sure enough, there was Peyton Sawyer, all long legs and wild curls, followed by a grown-up looking Brooke Davis. Nathan immediately grabbed Jamie and stepped out of the pool.

Haley jumped out of the lounge chair as soon as Peyton's voice made it's way to her.

"Oh my God!" Haley screamed. She ran to the two girls and pulled them into a giant hug. "What are you guys doing here?"

"We figured that after almost 5 years away, it was time to come home. And for good. Plus, I think I need to get to know my godson," Brooke filled in.

Nathan walked over to the girls with his little boy. He let go of Jamie's hand and pulled Peyton and then Brooke into a hug. "I can't believe you girls are really home."

"You better believe it, cause this time there's no getting rid of us," Peyton cracked sassily.

Jamie stared on in wonder at the two pretty strangers that his parents seemed to know. He walked over to his mother and tugged on her leg. "Momma?"

Haley looked down at her precious boy and scooped him into her arms. "Jamie, I want you to meet momma and daddy's really great friends, Peyton and Brooke."

"Brooke? You're my godmother right?"

Brooke instantly melted and nodded at the little boy. "I sure am. I'm sorry I haven't been around, but now that I'm back, that's all going to change. I want to get to know you."

Jamie's face brightened. "And you're Peyton? You're the girl from Uncle Luke's book?"

Peyton's face flushed red while the other three adults held their breath. "That's me kiddo. I'm so happy to finally meet you; you've grown up to be such a handsome little man." She tweaked the boy's nose and he blushed, then flashed a toothy grin.

"Hey Jimmy-Jam, what do you say we go inside and leave these three to have some girly time together?"

The blonde boy nodded his head and waved over his father's shoulder as he was being carried away. "I will be seeing you two later, you can count on that," remarked the elder Scott boy.

Peyton immediately turned toward Haley. "Okay, I'd be seriously upset if I weren't so impressed that he can read a novel!"

Haley chuckled and threw an arm around Peyton. "What can I say? He is truly Luke's nephew. No, seriously, he can't read novels yet. He's a sharp boy, but not that advanced… at least not yet. After Luke's novel got published, Jamie wanted in on all the fuss, and forced his Uncle Lucas to read to him every night – from his book."

Peyton's heart melted a little at the thought of Lucas with Jamie. She always knew he'd be great with kids. And that was such a Lucas Scott thing to do.

Haley's words interrupted her silent musing. "Honestly, I am so happy to have you two home – Tree Hill hasn't been the same without you both."

"Well it feels good to be home, right P. Sawyer? We've been getting that a lot lately!"

"From who?"

"Lucas," Peyton nearly whispered.

"Ah, so you've run into him already?"

Peyton nodded and rolled her eyes. "Yes, we both have. Very different encounters though. Brooke had a pleasant conversation and I got a nice angry argument."

Haley rubbed the blonde's shoulder sympathetically. "Peyton, Lucas still…"

"Hales, you talking about me?" A voice shouted from the other side of the yard.

The three girls turned to see Lucas striding through the yard over to them, a tall, beautiful woman flanked on his arm.

As Lucas and the woman came to join the three friends, tension swarmed the air, palpable to all, except for Lindsay who hadn't yet been clued in on who the two beautiful women were.

"Lindsay Strauss, I'd like you to meet two old _friends_," he stressed the word as he looked at Peyton. "This is Brooke Davis, and this is Peyton Sawyer. Girls, this is my girlfriend, Lindsay."

Even Haley looked shocked at the introduction. He rarely ever referred to Lindsay as his girlfriend. She glanced between Peyton and Lucas and immediately knew something had happened.

Lindsay shook their hands and a smile bubbled up on her soft features. "_The _Peyton and Brooke? Wow, I've read – and edited – a lot about the both of you."

The group shared an awkward laugh and stood in silence. Thankfully, Nathan's voice broke the uncomfortable silence. "Hey guys, if you're hungry, there's some lunch set up in here!"

Everyone started walking that way, save for Peyton and Lucas who lingered behind. Peyton didn't waste any time once Lindsay and the others were out of sight.

"Girlfriend, Lucas? Nice one! You tell me you miss me, you have all these feelings for me, and you can't stop thinking about me, and you have a girlfriend?!" She hissed out, trying to keep her voice low, but finding it increasingly difficult. "And here I was starting to almost believe those things you said."

Lucas's facial features softened and regret bubbled up in his chest. "Peyton, I, did mean what I said last night, you know I did. But, what does it matter? Word is that you're in a relationship, too."

Peyton scoffed and kicked a rock under her foot. "Yeah well, I wasn't the one talking about all of my feelings for you, now was I?"

He laughed bitterly and rubbed his jaw. "Of course not, getting Peyton Sawyer to talk about anything important when it comes to letting your guard down is next to impossible, isn't it _Peyt_?" He nearly spit his words out, he was so angered.

Peyton was taken aback at his tone, this was not her Lucas Scott. "What happened to you Lucas? You used to tear down walls and open your heart to love. I've never heard you sound so… _bitter_!"

Lucas swallowed thickly. "You happened to me, Peyton…"

She saw a rant coming and killed it before it could start.

"I'm not doing this again, you now I almost…" She ran a frustrated hand through her hair and turned her back on him. "Never mind. Lucas, let's not do this okay? At one point we had feelings for each other, but we've grown up. Can't we just be friends again? I mean we've both moved on right?" Peyton wanted him to say yes, but the bigger part of her hoped he'd say no.

Lucas said nothing but just stared into her eyes. "We should get inside, they're probably wondering where we are."

Lucas walked away, willing himself not to glance back at her.

And without knowing it, he'd instilled a little spark of hope within Peyton Sawyer.

_I'm tired of hiding behind these lying eyes,  
I'm tired of this smile that even I don't recognize.  
Do you know I cry?  
Do you know I die?  
Do you know I cry?  
Do you know I cry?  
And it's not the good kind_

* * *

To be honest – I'm not 100 sure where I'm taking Lucas's character. I guess I'm just as mixed up as Mark is. I can't even get started on how pissed I am at OTH right now for doing what they're doing to Lucas's character. I'm really bitter at the way Lucas is treating Peyton on the show lately.

Again, sorry for the lack of LP, but it's coming, I swear. This was a set up, but I'm taking this places, I promise. Just trust me. )


End file.
